by Rachel Heller

© 2001. All Rights Reserved.
Identity Freeze
Life was simple
There were boys and girls
Girls wore pink and boys wore blue.
Girls played with dolls and boys played with trucks.
A green haze covers life
Lines once clearly drawn
are erased with confusion
Virtue and vice!
Cold as ice!
Frozen in time!
A chill runs down my spine
History dictates who I am
A marrying woman
My spirit wishes to rebel
I feel different
Drawn to the "dark side"
Called by liberty and independence
Seduced by my kind
Who am I?
Who will I become?
I no longer recognize the woman in the mirror staring back at me!
Scared and alone
Left out in the snow and cold
I hope one day I can look to the warmth of the sun, stars and heavens.
Right now Brrr, Brrr
I am caught in an identity freeze!
Finding The Artist Within
Staring at a blank canvas
as white as clouds in the sky
Closing my eyes
Seeing a void
Trying to find the artist within!
Any medium will do!
Trying to find the artist within!
waiting for my inspiration
A muse to breathe creativity into me!
A black cloud of mystery engulfs me.
Canít find the artist within!
Sexual fantasies!
Forbidden fantasies!
To awaken the passion within my soul.
Coaxing the muse to its full potential.
Nothing at all
You unbutton my shirt
running your fingers down
my chocolate brown skin
Ice cold water glides down my breasts quenching the fire burning within my very existence!
Unknown visions discovered beyond anyone's dreams.
The silvery white snow melts to reveal a blossoming beginning
I thank God and you for finding the artist within!
Garden Of Discovery
Who am I?
Who will I become?
The world I knew is out of control and changing
Where do I go?
Who do I trust?
Trying to calm down and think
A thrill runs down my spine at the thought of the wrong sex!
A cloud of blackness hangs over my world!
A robin sings
I close my eyes attempting to feel Godís sprit around me.
A plea for guidance from a higher power
He leads me to a place of reflection.
Green, blue, and purple signify the coming of spring
I go to the pool and splash cool water on my face.
Trying to block the truth of my love!
Help me! Oh my God!
What if I am?
What is happening to me!
Am I going against Godís plan?
Trouble breathing allows me to focus on my clammy hands
Time to discover the truth about myself
The mask of fear must come off!
I touch my ring.
Touching the cool silver to help me meditate.
Tragedy must turn to comedy
Think cool and calm thoughts
Putting my face back in the pool, I see the reflection of a woman I thought I knew.
Her face makes me shiver with realization
Her imagine makes me long for a sexual experience like no other
Forbidden, exciting
I can hear my heart beat in my ears
The end of my life!
The end of my life!
A dove flies overhead signifying peace
In body and spirit embraced by a waterfall
A rainbow begins my life anew
The end of my life?
No way!
The reflection in the pool smiles back at me
The mask of deception is finally lifted!
Left is a garden of discovery!
Dream State
The days are cold
People scurrying here and there
The red-orangish sun slows sinks beyond the heavens signaling the end of day.
A chilling wind sweeps through the barren trees, like a house being swept into the eye of a hurricane.
The sky filled with marshmallow clouds beckon to me to enter a world that once was

Winters are damp
Children dodging snowballs, like a cowboy dodges a poison arrow before it pierces his throat.
Runners strive for gold
Unaware of the rock waiting to reach out and trip them
The world is now a dark and meaningless place
Once full of bright hope lies eternally bruised.

I live in a dream state
Soft melodious music swirls in the blue waves I call home
Tempers flare!
The cutting and biting of pain engulf my soul
Red hot lava courses through my veins
The coolness of a kiss would alter me into my dream state
But alas, I am forever caked with the mud of life.

ough my veins
The coolness of a kiss would alter me into my dream state
But alas, I am
The Seduction of Chocolate
Light, dark, white, and bittersweet
This is something I love to eat.
Bar, kiss, or on a sundae
A masterpiece of cocoa!
A symphony of tastes!
Chocolate with nuts, chocolate with raspberries, and
mint chocolate.
A delicious desire and pleasure for every tastebud.
Sticky, gooey, and chewy
oysters may be used to arouse the sexual passions,
however, chocolate is cheaper and alerts the sexual
passions to be ready for a night not to be forgotten.
Chocolate makes couples into artists allowing creation
of forbidden fantasies beyond their wildest dreams.
I can't wait for the seduction of chocolate!
Lying on my back, creating a body treat
Chocolate, whipped cream, nuts, strawberry sauce, and
cherry placed correctly.
Brings a smile to my face
Wanting you more than anything
I believe in the seduction of chocolate!
I pray for the seduction of chocolate!
All poems are © 2001 by Rachel Heller. All Rights Reserved. Do not reproduce or distribute without the expressed written consent of the author. Poems used here are printed by permission of the author.
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