BUILDING INTIMACY
© September 2002 Debora
Myers |
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| Some of us never had good role models to pattern ourselves after
when it came to learning how to have an intimate relationship a partner. |
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| Some of us may have shut down due to bad first love experiences
or repeated bad choices for lovers and have a hard time opening ourselves
up to potential pain again. So we end up in dry, unfulfilling relationships
or none at all, but the need for intimacy and connection is still
there. |
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| Whether your intimacy was lost due to a long-term relationship going
sour or from the reasons mentioned above... you might benefit from
these simple ideas to help you on your way toward a more intimate
connection with your love partner. |
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| Be a Good Listener |
| Sometimes we get so involved in our own thoughts and ideas that
we run over our partner in our enthusiasm. Remember that if you simply
quiet your own mind, close your mouth and open you ears and mind you
will be gaining insight. Insight is sister to Intimacy. |
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| DonŐt Beat a Dead Horse |
| ItŐs wise to let your love know that you wish to become closer but
be careful in how you attempt to get your point across. Even if you
are making a good point, donŐt keep on and on and on. Your partner
will become annoyed and shut you out completely, never hearing what
is important to you. Instead, try to present your point from different
perspectives or in other creative ways. Find an article by a professional
to back you up and leave it where he/she will see and hopefully read
itÉbe creative in your attempts to drive a point home. But also know
when to give it a rest. |
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| Take a Break |
| Take a break from one another once in a while. Find activities that
are separate from one another. Fulfill that void in yourself before
you go looking for someone to do it for you. You will be more likely
to find intimacy if you are intimate with yourself first. |
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| Romantic Dates |
| Plan romantic outings together in quiet places. Make sure you are
in an environment where you can talk openly or simply enjoy being
with one another without distraction. Picnics are a lovely way to
get away from it all and focus entirely on each other. Try to plan
simple dates. Sometimes the fun is lost when you get caught up in
the planning. Don't get hung up on the perfect date either. If go
to a restaurant and the food stinks, send it back and laugh about
it on the way to the ice cream shop for a cone. Try simply taking
a walk along the waterfront or in the park. |
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| Soften the Exterior |
| Sometimes life can make us (pardon the expression) crusty, like
a loaf of French bread. You may be all nice and soft on the inside
but your defensive mechanisms have made an exterior that may be intimidating
to anyone trying to reach in to get to know the real you. Work on
softening your exterior defensive mechanisms. Catch yourself and be
aware of any subconscious intimacy fears that may sabotage anyone
getting close to you. |
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| I know someone that aggressively talks a million miles a minute,
running you over and never ever letting you get a word in edge-wise.
It used to really make me angry until I got to know her. I realized
that she was so scared and insecure that she just wouldn't let me
in for one secondÉshe was afraid of what I (or anyone else) had to
say because she assumed it wouldn't be nice. She was afraid of intimacy. |
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| Touch |
| Gentle nonsexual, tender touching can convey your love and warm
your partner up to you better than the best poetry, wine, flowers,
or diamonds. A slight stroke to the hand, or a tender kiss on the
back of the neck can say it all. |
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| Be Open |
| Take a deep breath and bring love into your body and heart chakra.
Let that loving feeling pull up into your eyes and then gaze into
your lover's eyes at that very moment. Allow the moment to happen.
Don't look away. Try to remember the first time you and your love
looked at one another with goo-goo eyes. Recapture that feeling and
bring it back to life. |
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| Patience |
| Maintain patience and wait for your love to come around. You cannot
push and shove and whine and wheedle and MAKE someone want to get
closer to you. You need to do it without trying to force the issue.
Communication is good. Start with little bits at a time or as a good
friend of mine says Take Baby Steps. |
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| These are a few tips for opening up the communication process toward
becoming closer with your love on a deeper and more intimate level.
Remember the little things that can please your honey. Reach out lovingly
without expecting to get something back immediately. |
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| Instead of harping on the negative aspects of the relationship and
lack of intimacy, try catching yourself every time you say or think
negatively and communicate an apology or simply replace the unsaid
negative thought with a positive one. |
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| Make sure you are creating an environment that is conducive to love
and intimacy. How can your lover ever think of getting more intimate
with you if the phone is ringing, the kids are fighting and you are
screaming? |
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| Add a little honey to the recipe and I bet he'll eat you up! |
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PREMATURE EJACULATION: ... A Problem for the Two
of Us
© July-August 2002 Debora
Myers |
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| The reasons for premature ejaculation vary from person to person.
There is no set time frame to measure what time constitutes as a premature
ejaculation. But basically it is when a man ejaculates before he wishes
to do so. Every man has or will encounter a time when he ejaculates
prematurely. |
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| Extreme cases such as ejaculating right at the moment of penetrating
the vagina or any kind of sexual stimulation can be most frustrating
for everyone involved. The mechanics and mind power to remedy the
situation can be quite simple and with a little or a lot of practice
depending upon the severity of the problem, premature ejaculation
can be a thing of the past. |
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| Sexual inexperience, stress, long periods of abstinence between
sexual encounters, pressure to perform, anxiety, fear, new partner
insecurities, relationship problems, associations of negative past
sexual experiences, low self esteemÉthese all can play roles in a
man not being able to ejaculate when he wants to. |
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| In most cases the problem is temporary, especially when it is stress
related, but if the problem is not dealt with in the onset, it can
become worse due to the fact that he is now stressing about his performance
(lack thereof) also. It can be a vicious circle. |
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| This can cause him to pull away all together in shame. (Those egos
have a strong pull and remember his sexuality has a strong influence
on his ego.) If this is the case the exercises listed below are best
done with himself alone until he gains control of the ejaculation
process. Like any other exercise, it takes repetition and practice.
He will feel less pressure to perform and be more able to concentrate
on his goal without worrying about what a partner is thinking etc.
If he usually knows how to hold back and some kind of temporary stress
has caused him to come too quickly only lately then he may be open
to sharing his exercises with his lover. |
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| Master's and Johnson's Start and Stop Exercise |
| This is a very simple exercise to help a man learn how far he can
go before he ejaculates. He needs to have some time alone for self-stimulation.
As he masturbates he needs to bring himself almost to the point of
no return then cease all stimulation, even make himself think about
something unsexy, (Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold dayÉ) and let
his erection subside slightly. Then after 30 seconds or so he resumes
to his auto-erotic stimulation, again, bringing himself to the edge
and repeating the exercise as many times as possible. In this way
he can intimately learn about his body and how to control it. Eventually
he will be familiar with the intricacies of arousal and stimuli and
know how to start and stop at his will. |
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| Kegals for Men |
| Those pubococcygeus PC muscles that control our vaginas also play
a big part in his ability to shut down the tidal wave..the ejaculation.
A good way to learn where those muscles are located is to simply shut
off the flow of urine. Practice while at the toilet. (Remember to
wipe off the seat for the ladies in the house!) Now that he knows
what muscles we are talking about he can practice strengthening them
by tensing and relaxing several times a day. He will also want to
practice during masturbation. He must bring himself to the edge of
orgasm then tighten down those muscles as he ceases all stimulation.
Practice makes perfect |
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| The Magic Spot |
| By pressing on the spot between his scrotum and his anus (perenium)
you can help stop an ejaculation. A duct leading from the prostate
gland is located near his anus. Right before the point of no return
he can press on this point until the urge to cum has ceased. |
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| Desensitization |
| Try using condoms or numbing creams to desensitize his sensitive
member. By using these methods he can delay his orgasms somewhat.
If one condom doesn't work, try using two. |
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| Take Your Time |
| Because of societal taboos and the intimate nature of masturbation
men have been taught to hurry to the finish line. The orgasm was the
goal and as young men they had to hurry up so that know one would
know what they were doing. Hence, they have been taught to hurry toward
the goal, never really learning how high and far sexual ecstasy can
take them. They finished before they've even started. Slow down the
entire process. Distract yourself. Change positions. This will help
to draw out the sexual experience. |
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| Sexual Positioning |
| It is easier for most men to reach climax while they are in a superior
position: the missionary, doggy style... So when he decides to make
it back to the bedroom to practice with you, suggest he let you be
on top. It is more difficult for him to reach orgasm if he is on the
receiving end. |
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| Slow and Steady Wins the Race |
| Again, when he decides to meet you in the bedroom, remind
him to take his time. When he first enters you it is a good idea for
him (and yourself) to use side-to-side hip rocking motions or slow
circular motions. When he stops moving he is to stay inside you motionless.
You must stop all motion too unless you want his gun to go off half
cocked. |
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| Distract him by kissing his ear, talking gently to him
(nothing erotic) or if he asks, just be quiet. He may be picturing
Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day. You don't want to interfere
with his anti-arousal techniques. In all fairness to Margaret Thatcher,
I'm sure there are those that find her attractive...sorry Maggie.
Seriously though, thinking unerotic thoughts can help him to stop
cumming. No deep thrusting when he first enters you either. Slow it
down. |
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| Hints for Her |
| His self-esteem won't be helped if you sigh a huge sigh
and roll your eyes as he orgasms too soon, leaving you hanging. He
will only resent you and himself, making matters worse than before.
So use these quick get off tricks so you can climax as he is working
on improving his techniques. No reason for you to suffer! |
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| Use Your Hands- Lack of his movement can delay your
being able to climax unless you take matters into your own hands.
As he is moving gently reach your hand down to position or push the
clitoris against him. You can stroke yourself in small movements that
will be enough for you to climax but that don't require the long thrusts
that he needs to shoot off. |
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| Warm Up Your Engine- Make sure you are good and hot
before sex is initiated. If you know you have a love making date,
think about sex all day long. Build your desire. Touch yourself and
be juicy by the time you both get together. Don't be afraid to finish
things yourself either. Nothing worse than sexual congestion without
healthy release. You can either do it yourself or ask him to join
in and help. He should want to please you so hand him the vibrator
or gently grab his hand and put it on your breastÉ |
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| Fantasy- Think of something that makes you hot. If you
have been left hanging by him 300 times before and are angry deep
down, you may find it difficult to be aroused by him. No one has to
know that you are thinking about the Postman or that sexy coworker.
You do whatever it takes to get fired up. |
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| If he suspects you aren't responsive to him he may feel
insecure in his masculinity. Insecurity certainly isn't going to improve
his performance. Let him think it's him that is doing it for you.
Eventually, as he gains or regains his confidence the sexual chemistry
should grow for one another. Work together on your issues and you
will be able to move forward. No relationship is perfect. It will
take both of you actively pursuing personal growth together! |
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| If we remain positive we can direct that positive energy
into one another and grow together towards true long lasting love.
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The Urge to Merge ... Light, Love and Responsibility
© May-June 2002 Debora
Myers |
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| Summer turns up the heat like no other season, and I'm not talking
just about the weather. Nature has made sure that we continue our
line of genetics by giving us a strong desire to mate and reproduce.
But is there more to this longing desire? Of course there is. At least
I like to think so. |
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| Many of us know the lonely, deflated feeling we get after a one-night
stand when the "standee" decides to get up and leave at 5:00 am, leaving
us alone between the sheets and never heard from again. |
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| Far too many of us are so hungry to be loved and have such strong
sexual desires that we can be totally unthinking, irresponsible and
dispense our bodies with little more than a thought of "oh God, he's
so hotÉ" Yet we all want is to be loved, admired, adored, respected,
honored, to feel special and one of a kind. |
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| How are these men supposed to think we are a Goddess, if we just
give one of our greatest gifts away so easily? You certainly wouldn't
give your car or wrist watch for that matter, to some guy you meet
in a bar etc., so why not value your life force, your heart, sexual
energy and body more than you would a wrist watch? |
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| We must dispense our bodies with responsibility, light and love
if we wish to be adored and loved in return. When I refer to responsibility
I am not singly speaking of safer sex, I also mean to be responsible
for your feelings, expectations and of course for your sex/love partners
feelings as well and of course ALWAYS PRACTICE SAFER SEX! |
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| This is the one time that we really need to heed our mother's advice.
She is right on this one. If societal taboos kept her from discussing
sex and love with you then vow right now that you will educate yourself
and share the knowledge with your younger sisters and daughters. |
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| The strong sexual 'urge to merge' energy can be rechanneled back
into ourselves to be used over and over again. Why waste that Goddess
potential (your ability to conceive and create life and love) on some
goober in a bar? It's wasted energy. Instead of making you feel like
your walking on clouds, you feel used up and depressed when you wake
up alone or are sitting by the phone waiting for the morning after
call that will never come. |
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| Take your time. |
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| Rechanneling Sexual Energy |
| Those women with very strong sex drives may be rolling their eyes
right about now. Stay open and listen please. Listen to those of us
that have learned the hard way. |
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| Take that strong energy and use it for yourself. Yes, walking, jogging
and other forms of physical exercise are good ways to lessen the mounting
sexual urgency but exercise can also invigorate and increase your
desires. All that hot blood pounding in your body... |
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| Here is one of my secrets. I rechannel my sexual energy back into
me. When I'm on track with it, I feel strong, full and can be attractive
even when I have on my gardening clothes (ugly) and my hair is dripping
from the Carolina summer heatÉ |
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| It's all about loving yourself and what you are projecting to the
universe. Of course it helps to look your best if you're into attracting
a lover, but it isn't the most important aspect. It is the energy
of purpose, self-confidence and self-love that will ultimately draw
a real and like-minded lover to you. DonŐt be afraid to date and keep
an open mind and heart, play the field. |
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| Many of us wonder why we cannot reach orgasm with our lovers. I
believe that we need to spend more time on ourselves, not just in
the beauty parlor or mall for clothing and accessories, but on what
makes us -us. We need to know ourselves, love ourselves, and take
care of ourselves: emotionally, physically, environmentally, mentally
and spiritually. If we strive for balance in these areas of our lives
and ourselves we will learn that maybe what we are really yearning
for deep down is self-acceptance and self-love. Once we have that
we will draw a compatible partner to us. |
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Boosting Your Libido
© April 2002 Debora
Myers |
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| Life's priorities can sap the life right out of us. We
women tend to prioritize our love lives to the end of the list, after
everyone else's needs have been taken care of-by us. Our society expects
us to do this. From an early age we are told to care for our families
and homes and now we must be the bread earners as well. Generally
speaking, that would be all well and good but far too many of the
home responsibilities fall on the woman, with few partners picking
up the slack. When was the last time you came home from work and sat
in your favorite chair and had your mate bring you a nice cool drink
while he prepared the evening meal? …Communicate your desires!
Ask for what you want! |
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Here are a few simple reminders of how to save some
energy for our love lives. By maintaining the intimacy and sexual
contact with our mates we are doing our families and yes, society
a great service as well. If we (and our mates) are happy and content,
the children and those connected to us will benefit in turn. Remember
"An empty vessel cannot pour” So
keep your Chi, your life force and creative sexual energy fortified
with these tips. |
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| 1. Ask for help when you need it. Most of us (our egos)
attempt to be superwomen and we end up burnt out. Delegate some of
the work to your families and friends. Ask for help concerning any
issue you have that may be dousing your love life. |
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| 2. Stop attempting to please everyone. Just say No! |
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| 3. Feed yourself REAL food and get enough rest and exercise!
Duh! |
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| 4. Do little things for yourself that make you feel sexy! For example:
Prioritize that trip to the salon; take that Tai Chi class; start
or finish that good sexy book, take the time to dress nicely…Do
the things that help you to love-you! |
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| 5. Masturbate, yes, to keep your fire alive you must keep the sexual
energy turned on. |
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| 6. Use fantasy throughout the day to keep your fire turned up,
so you are "ready” by the time you and your honey get
together. It helps if you are not starting with a cold engine!
The biggest complaint many women have concerning men and love making
is that their men rush to the finish line and are done before we women
even have a chance to warm up, or worse are just starting to get turned
on and then-POW he's finished. Big bummer! If this becomes a habit
for him you need to gently talk to him about it in a non-accusatory
way. Some people end up closing down the sexual energy when they are
routinely left hanging. |
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| 7. Be open to new ideas and techniques, as your love
life gets boring. Never do anything just to please your mate if you
are uncomfortable with the idea. He may really be into having a threesome
with you and your best friend. Good luck. If you ask me, your just
inviting heartache into your life. Too risky. Instead, try some verbal
fantasy stories and tell him over the phone or in person! That should
do the trick. Research sexuality sites for sexy ideas. |
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| 8. Explore erotica. Women's erotica isn't only limited
to romance stories. Those can be very arousing, but if you require
a stronger stimulant, try reading harder erotica written specifically
for women. I find most of the men's stuff is just too disgusting for
us gentlewomen. |
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| 9. Try out some of the new toys designed just for a woman's
pleasure in mind. There are many strap-on devices that stimulate the
clitoris. Experiment with different dildos and vibrators. Use it while
you fantasize and you will be ready for him when the time comes! |
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| 10. Last but not least- keep LOVE in your heart. Make
sure you pay enough attention to your relationship and do not let
your problems go unresolved. Built up grievances and resentment toward
your mate if the biggest libido killer of them all! |
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The best asset in your love life is to keep communication open.
Keep an
open dialogue with your lover, that's the best aphrodisiac around! |
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Kama Sutra
Mind-Body-Spirit Union
© March 2002 Debora
Myers |
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Featured Positions:
'Congress of the Cow' & 'The Mare's Position' |
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| Our first thoughts about the Kama Sutra invoke mental
pictures of aerobic sexual positions with names such as congress of
the cow, the swing, fixing of a nail, and the lotus. Many of us have
seen the gymnastics involved and think what's the point? I'd break
my neck attempting that! |
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| But not all of the positions and instructions written
by Vatsyayana were meant for only physical sexual pleasure; many are
variations of Yoga postures. The Yoga postures were involved to bring
the lovers closer together in a higher spiritual and mental union.
That deeper connection we all want! |
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| The goals of the Kama Sutra are to bring pleasure of
the five senses of feeling, seeing, tasting, hearing and smelling
together with the mind and spirit. It was India's 400 AD sensual lovemaking
manual. It taught that lovemaking was far from a simple act of procreation,
it was an art form to be celebrated! |
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| So how can we use the Kama Sutra today? What does it
have to offer us, a society so obsessed with sex? Don't we, in the
21st century of sexual liberation know it all by now? I believe we
still have a lot to learn about love, sex and sensuality in our highly
technical society. |
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| What I gleaned from the Kama Sutra are the sensual, spiritual
and emotional connections that can be neglected in our often-crazy
lives. Sure, these guys were noblemen and had the time to pamper themselves
and their lovers but the truth of the matter is that we generally
put sensuality low on our list of priorities in today's world. We're
way too busy working to make the mortgage payment… |
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| The Kama Sutra is based on the etiquette of the time
with very specific guides on hygiene and preparations for lovemaking
as well as the positions and sexual instructions. We mustn't get lost
in our attempts to become more sexually adept in the instructions.
It's the closeness and the fun and laughter while attempting some
of the wilder poses and the sensual play that may end up bringing
you and your lover closer together |
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| Sure, you may really get off and connect with your lover
on a higher level as you unite in the ‘congress of a cow', but
don't focus entirely on the goal of the mind-blowing orgasm. Allow
yourself to laugh as you play and experiment. |
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| As you both play together in this intimate way, you
may find yourself letting go of your inhibitions and insecurities
and simply relax and have fun while at the same time building the
sexual energy that is needed for extended lovemaking and orgasms |
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| Position for Him: |
| The Congress of a Cow! |
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| This position is one for the more physically fit couple.
It also is one of those that should provide a good laughing session. |
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| Vatsyayana had a thing for imitating the ways animals
mated. He suggests doing it like a tiger, deer, elephant….you
name it, he must have had a lot of time on his hands for fooling around.
Ok, enough talk about him, here is the congress of a cow. |
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| This is one of the rear entry positions. Basically, the
woman stands, with her legs slightly spread and knees locked or (bent
slightly for comfort) and supports herself with her hands on the floor-
the bend over position. (Don't try this if you are not limber) |
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| He thrusts from behind holding onto your waist or hips.
This way he can move you along with his momentum. Great for him, but
not the greatest for you. Let him have enough to really get going,
but if you're like most women you won't want it to stop there, so
change positions before he ejaculates. You may want to try these less
than satisfying positions just to add a little something different
to your routine but by all means don't think you have to do it like
that until he climaxes. Just keep his interest. Then get into a comfortable
position when you are ready to turn things around! |
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| Note for her-I've found that in the time it takes to
reshuffle into a new position, get a drink of water etc, we women
can lose that sense of erotic urgency we had during foreplay. Say,
for example he is kissing your lotus flower and you have climaxed
several times and need a couple minutes to rebuild the sexual tension-
enough to want him to penetrate you in a bad way. But he's ready to
rock and roll. Get verbal ladies. As you are maneuvering from your
back or wherever to the standing position for the congress of the
cow, do not let him jam into you unless you are really ready and aching
for him to do so. Ask him to rub his mighty shaft against your flower
until you are ready for his thrusts… |
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| Position for Her: |
| The Mare's Position! |
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| Here's one of my favorites. |
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| While he is on his back with his legs outstretched in
front of him you can straddle him either facing or with your back
to him. Rub his erection against your petals and clitoris until you
are ready then sit down onto his shaft. Tighten your PC (vaginal muscles)
around him in a pulsing manner as you gently rock side to side or
back and forth or up and down or a variation of those movements. You
may fondle and stroke his scrotum and your own clitoris for direct
stimulation with your hand. He can sit up and kiss your neck and ears
as you arch back to meet his tender kisses and nibbles. Tickle him
softly with your hair. Ask him to caress your breasts and tweak your
nipples as you bear down onto his erection. |
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| This position is one for play and fun, but I don't recommend
it for reaching orgasm. The natural tilt of his penis may keep it
from rubbing on your g spot and leave you without the deeper g spot
orgasm. Sure, you can bring yourself to clitoral orgasm by self-stimulation
or by him reaching around to stimulate your clitoris but I suggest
you turning to face him to reach the big G-O's. |
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| As you face him, he may want to lie back and let you
go for the gusto. You may want to use your hand to stimulate your
clitoris while rubbing and plunging down onto his erection and find
the correct position for stimulation of your G spot at the same time
while you're rubbing your clit. By alternating squeezing and pushing
outward you can better locate the best position for g spot stimulation.
Once you find it you will know and glow! |
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| *Reaching orgasm-tip for her |
| Sometimes our minds tend to wander from one silly thought
to another, worrying about how our hair looks to him… distracting
us from the sensations and feelings we are trying to enjoy. This is
when I suggest closing your eyes and if you are having a hard time
reaching orgasm, you may want to try a little fantasy for added stimulation
to your most sexy organ –your brain. Don't worry about being
weird, just let go and use your imagination. That's one of the reasons
why we have one! |
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| The best way to improve your love life is to use lots
of communication and lubrication! Don't underestimate the power of
a good lube, especially if you are approaching, are in or are post-menopausal.
Get over being shy and tell him what would please you. Never start
in a negative tone when communicating your desires. Instead of saying
"I can't stand the way you diddle me, it bugs me instead of making
me aroused." Try a more positive approach, "Oh honey, you
know what I'd really like? Rub me slowly up and down the hood…that'd
feel wonderful!" You don't want to deflate his ego. Most likely
he'll be afraid to touch you again if you put his technique down.
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| Have fun and always keep love in your bedrooms! |
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Reaffirming Passion With Your Mate
© February 2002 Debora
Myers |
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| Ok, now you're feeling better and more energized because
you've been taking better care of yourself. No more guilt trips, no
more over-doing it…but your mate isn't following your lead and
has been a stickler to be around. At home I'd use another adjective
but will refrain from my earthier descriptions in consideration of
our more ladylike sisters. He's grumpy and short-tempered and the
last person you'd want to be intimate with. That does pose a problem.
How do you get him to mellow out and be responsive to your passionate
longings? He isn't going to be the initiator of love when he's grumpy
and stressed. You will have to be the dominant one. If dominant makes
you feel uneasy how about the "leader." |
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| Follow the Leader |
| Let's face it. Were just thinking creatures that mimic
one another. Look at fashion, religion, the way we speak…everything
we do is a mimic of another, only from different angles. |
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| Take the lead. Nurture him with kind words and take the extra time
to be thoughtful. Soften him up. It may take a day or two… |
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| Surprise him in the shower. While he's in the hot water,
all relaxed and warm, slip in with him and scrub his back. Rub him
down good with your soapy hands and rub your body against his. Tell
him how beautiful he is and that you love looking at him. Everyone
loves to hear that! |
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| After he's all clean and you've sufficiently teased
him, dry him off with the towel. Make sure to rub him down vigorously
all over, It will help to stimulate his circulation and will feel
really good to him. Don't forget to dry between his toes and his jewels
(being gentler with those of course, you want him to feel treasured)….
Make sure you are totally naked while doing this, as you are rubbing
him down you will be jiggling in all the right spots and guys being
guys, well they like to see you jiggle. His mood should be improving
by now… |
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| Take him into the bedroom and gently push him to the
bed and lock the door. Turn on the clock radio if necessary (so he
won't be inhibited by the kids hearing him moan…) Continue telling
him how much you love him and how wonderful he is as you go down on
him. Now, shy little or big sis, whatever, don't be inhibited by the
next set of instructions. He will love it, so get over being embarrassed
and just know that he's going to be de-grumped by the time you're
finished with him. |
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| Make sure his head is propped with the pillows..he needs
to have a good view. Straddle him so that you are facing his feet,
with your rear and flower right in his face! The 69 position, but
don't quite let him get to your flower yet. You just want him to watch.
He's going to want you sooo badly by the time you've followed these
sextructions. Position yourself so that he can see your lovely flower
but also so that he can get a view underneath you to watch your breasts
moving and so he can watch as you give him head. Make sure to let
your breasts touch him once in a while… |
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Now, focus your attention on his genitals and thighs.
Lick him all over and then give him head. Spend most of your time
teasing his helmet, but once in a while take his entire shaft, (or
as much as you possibly can) but just enough to make him crazy. You
want to tease him for quite a while. Don't let him touch you at this
point. You want to torture him. Smack his hands if he tries to grab,
stroke or finger you. (He's gonna try, so make sure to tell him that
he has to wait. That you want him to focus entirely on the show and
his pleasure.) You can also touch yourself enticingly, show him a
little more…but don't bring him to the exploding point yet. You
want him to connect with you and your heart, not your
rear-view. |
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| Give him at the very least 2o or so minutes of this or
until your back…gives out. Then turn to face him, straddle him
again and rub your yoni against his shaft until he starts to beg,
then plunge down on top of him. If you start the motion immediately
he most likely will explode, depending on how long you gave him head.
You also want to make a deeper connection and can do so by just looking
passionately into his eyes as he is inside you. Kiss him on the mouth,
tease his lips with your tongue and don't let him thrust. Just clamp
down on him with your body weight and pin him down. |
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| Then, before you get tired or a backache or whatever
love him for all you're worth! You should be so excited by now that
you come immediately too. But this one was really for him. Sometimes
we need to give, in order to get. Don't just wait around for him to
give you the treatment. While your laying together and he is telling
you how great that was, how much he loves you…you can suggest
he show you next time! |
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Making Love For The Whole World!
© January 2002 Debora
Myers |
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| The best place for me to make love to the world is while
in the superior position, straddling my partner. I love him. If you
don't love the person you're with it won't work. |
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| As I am loving him, I visualize and feel all of that
ecstatic energy growing in my yoni and expanding. As the energy is
building up and we are letting go of ego, fear…and tuning into
the higher love I pull the energy up through my entire body. As I
climax, I visualize all that creative loving energy as it shoots from
my womb center toward the top of my head and visualize it shooting
and showering out into space and wrapping the entire earth in my love.
This may sound a little way out to some of you, but I'm taking the
risk of sounding wacky to share my know how. |
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| My orgasms are not just about me and the pleasure my
mate and I derive from this ecstatic energy. It concerns the power
of creation. The kundalini unleashed; This energy is unlimited. It
is divine and we have the ability to share it with everyone. I don't
mean have sex with everyone..share that energy with everyone. It is
a powerful healing force for the world. |
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| Now, as you are continuing on throughout your day, keep
that euphoria with you. Share your love charged self with the world.
Notice the check out woman behind the cash register. Take the time
to share your higher love with a simple smile as you make eye contact.
Take the extra minute to hold the door for someone. Let your giving
nature spread into all avenues of your life into others lives..the
chain of love will continue. Use this sacred and erotic energy to
heal the planet and her inhabitants. That's your exercise for the
month everyone. Love one another! |
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Attracting More Love
© December 2001 Debora
Myers |
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| In my part of the world it is cold now. Our winter is upon us. |
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| Winter is a time to reflect, to look within. Let's take this time
to connect with ourselves on a deeper level and sort out all that
we have absorbed during the "fruitful" months and make some
sense out of it all. It is a time to digest our experiences and make
them into a part of us in a positive and life affirming way. |
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| Take some time to cuddle by the fire, snuggle in your comforter
and gather your comfort items and growth tools around you. Whether
those consist of a bible or tarot-cardsÉ or simply paper and pencil
to write out your feelingsÉtake this time to set your new goals for
yourself. Pull your loved ones close to you. Reassure them. Say your
prayers and affirmations and make your visualizations now for your
personal growth-your souls evolution. Make clear in your mind what
you want to change about your life and yourself. |
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| Use what you have learned about yourself and start preparing for
the season of rebirth in the spring. Then set your new goals into
motion, as the winter thaws you can bloom with your new ideas, evolve
along with the cycles of the earth, for we are all a part of her and
creation. |
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| Tantric Sexersize for December-
Attracting More Love!
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| We all know by now that we attract to us what we are projecting.
If we project lack and fear into the universe we will only receive
the same. If we project love and fullness, then we will receive the
same. Here is an easy exercise for you to love yourself and your connection
with the universe. If you are coming from a higher place, a place
of universal love, you can and will eventually attract love back to
you. |
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| This sexercise can be shared with a partner of not! On a cool or
cold evening or morning, light a fire in your wood stove or fireplace.
If you don't have a fireplaceÉlight candles to add a warm glow. Gather
your pillows, blankets and feather bed and create a love nest in the
vicinity of your fire. |
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| After a bath, dress yourself in something soft and sexy. Make yourself
feel like a goddess. Have flowering plants or greenery arranged pleasantly
to remind you of your connection to the earth. Now, after unplugging
the phone and getting your wine or tea, plant yourself into your nest
and snuggle into a comfortable position. Engage in your favorite prayer
or mantra. Relax, let go of all tension and focus your energy on your
heart area. |
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| Use
your gift of imagination and creation and feel your heart energy as it
expands. Visualize and with feeling, push love and heart energy
outward. I visualize my heart like a spinning vortex of love. I "see"
with my minds eye- vibrant colors expanding from my heart center. I not
only use my mind's eye, but I feel the energy and propel it outwards
through visualization as I feel it expand. A rush of divine love! |
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| Now you are in the glow of the love light. While you surround yourself
in the love, start your self-loving. Caress yourself, touch yourself
and explore. Use your loving fantasies to become aroused and bring
pleasure to your body as you caress and remind yourself just how sacred
and full of love and you are. You are a sacred vessel of love. Become
it. Share this ecstatic energy with the world. Become love. A loving,
sexually charged being will attract the same. You cannot be loved
until you love yourself. An empty vessel has nothing to give. Fill
yourself with love and then you are empowered and have the energy
to give to your family, community and the universe. Namaste! |
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